I found a way to get that horror movie fix without nightmare fuel

every year with cooler weather and 12ft Home Depot Halloween Skeleton Reign of Terror resumes, as I encounter my first spider shower of the season, I have a strange urge to watch a horror movie. The only problem: I’m a scared cat.

My personal Finn scheme for scary, scary but not too creepy movies is just a small piece of cheese. hocus pocus 2 Not scary enough, but The end of Halloween It’s the high cortisol I don’t need in my life. Ghostbusters: an insult to my aesthetic needs. smiling? More like Face Screaming in Fear emoji. what about no? The title says it all.

It’s hard to scratch the dreaded itch of the season when your skin is as tender as the jossamer weaved by the shower spider I mentioned, which was real, by the way. It just doesn’t make sense – whether he watched horror movies or not, right? But when all the Twitter experiences Insomnia caused by midsummeror when a Scientific study Determines the most terrifying movie All the time, how could I not want to know more?

Whatever it is about horror that attracts and repels normal humans at the same time, I own it too. I don’t know why I need To find out who the killer was in Scream. I think it’s just a natural human impulse, a tug-of-war between can’t look away and can’t be seen. We all enjoy the delicious thrill of the macabre, to some degree. I just need it in smaller doses.

Put this under “Nothing I do is actually that weird” (See also: Finding files Adam Driver attractive). It turns out that I’m not the only one living horror movies by safer means. My medium of choice has always been Wikipedia plot summaries, but this is just a portal to a world of horror watching through fingers spread. Scary feline companions, read on to discover all the other ways you can substitute (or prepare) for Halloween horror movie consumption.

Spoiler-filled plot summaries

I’ve been reading the horror movie Wikipedia pages for years. Unlike movie reviews, Wikipedia guides you through every storyline, twisted and spoiled, with a welcoming bedside break that removes all the scary feelings. Do not need to know whether the movie Good – I just want to know what was so sinister evil.

Those who saw midsummerHe, for example, would understand the vast gap between watching this segment and reading, “He discovers Josh’s leg planted in a flower bed and Simon’s body exhibited in a barn, after being exposed to a blood vulture,” which is the wiki version of it. . You can then tap to see what a blood eagle is, and the mere thought of seeing it on screen will be enough scary feelings to last into next year.

Another good option is The Movie Spoiler, which includes racy, outsourced summaries of “everything from American Beauty to Zoolander.”

It is still hereditary.  A woman standing in front of a burning man.

A scene from the movie Hereditary I definitely need some context for it.

A 24

Podcasts and YouTube feeds

There’s a thriving home industry of spoiler-filled movie summaries on YouTube and wherever you get your podcast, from the non-genre All Spoiler Recap to the horror-loving Dead Meat and Found Flix. There are even summaries specifically designed with scared cats in mind — I recommend the podcast so scary, you haven’t seen it and amazing, both of which are like having a conversation with a friend that is more cinematically gritty, but with better production value.

Custom trigger warnings

The thing about having thin skin is that horror movies are only part of the problem. I also have issues with extreme melodrama or danger (there’s a difference between crying in a sad movie and crying where your mental health is eroded by the gloom of some fictional character’s life). Manchester by sea It made me good. And you can bet I was already smelling The Son’s Wiki.

This is where the dog dies? Comes in. An ingenious premise, the free app allows for an organized set of triggers and warnings for each potential movie. You can search the database for everything from “there is cannibalism” to “is someone farting or spitting,” and of course, whether any furry friends have been harmed.

Along the same lines, Where’s the Jump is a comprehensive catalog of jump scares with specific timestamps so you can plan accordingly, should you decide to watch. Scary Meter provides a supplementary public service, categorizing films on separate Creepy, Gory, and Jumpy scales, and marking them with common triggers such as “torture chamber” and “demon possession”.

Shots from inside Does the dog die?  The app displays personal players and filters movies

in Does the dog die? The app you can choose your own personal triggers to avoid the movies it contains. Or you can find movies that include, for example, a person falling down stairs.

Screenshot / Carissa Langlo

Parental guides

Sometimes, you just have to admit that you have the emotional make-up of a child. And if, like me, you are not actually a child, you may have to start raising yourself. IMDb, for example, has a built-in parenting guide that goes beyond MPA ratings to distinguish acceptable items such as “profanity” and hateful “violence and blood”. It was there that I discovered this shocking warning about the 2004 horror flick: “A man shoots another man (survives)”.

Alternative sources of relaxed parenting for caring parents include Kids in Mind, which warns of division and a big spider in the hocus pocus 2, and Common Sense Media, a broad classification of child-friendly (and not) media, including books and podcasts, with age-related recommendations and ratings for not only things like “violence and intimidation,” but even excessive consumption. (Unrelated: Common Sense Media is also a great place to discover it Good Things, like thoughtful books about LGBTQ+ youth and the best movies with Puerto Rican characters and leads.)

Just watched the darn movie…

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but horror movies are a lot less scary when you watch them on a Sunday morning with the curtains open and all the lights on. There’s also the “fast forward so you know what you want” trick, if you can handle the dreaded emotions only when they’re messed up.

ready? check the The best horror movies on NetflixAnd the Prime video And the HBO Max. For those who are braver than me, check out our list Best Horror Movie Streaming Services, very. And of course, you can always watch a file This Halloween movie isn’t scaryAnd we call it today. will be Hallmark Christmas movie season before you know it.

#horror #movie #fix #nightmare #fuel

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